Since graduating university I have been living the fancy agency life. Like Mad Men, but with (slightly) less sexism. This means being invited to every event, receiving boxes of swag, and partying with elected officials. Last week I gave it all up. Why you might ask. Because I was miserable.
While I will admit that I gained plenty of cool stories my high school self could only dream of, my depression and anxiety began to escalate to a point where I was so morose my apartment looked like the morning after a frat party, I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping, and what I was eating I was throwing up in the office bathroom between meetings.
I managed to get through a top university and make Dean's List without my mental illness becoming this bad. This wasn't me, and I wasn't going to let it become me. I knew that I needed a change.
Was it easy to step away away from all of this? HELL NO. Influencing leaders, changing the minds of populations, and helping organizations to better the world has literally been my dream since I was 13. Making the decision to walk away from that meant that I may never have that life back again. But at the same time I knew that I had to do what was right for me, and in this case it was taking time to reset my life.
I don't know where the next bit of my life is going to take me, but then again I had never planned on... well, most of my adult life if I'm being completely honest. But the one thing I do know is that I'm looking forward to taking this time to focus on me, my health, finding peace of mind, and rediscovering coping mechanisms that will help me in this time and place.
Anyone got any suggestions? (No, seriously. This isn't a comment bait. My therapist keeps asking me what my coping mechanisms are, and every time I answer her with a blank look on my face. Sorry, Diana!)