For as long as I can remember I have been terrified of failure. Whether it was a dance competition, grades, career, or getting into university, if there is a chance to fail there is a voice telling me that that is the inevitable outcome and continues to tell me what that failed life is going to look like. Since I am moving back to my home city in a month, there are a lot of factors that I am having to deal with. One of which is finding a job.
Today I had a job interview, and about 15 minutes after it ended the inner monologue started. That was about 4 hours ago. Since then I've been sitting on my couch trying to watch enough Netflix and play enough games on my phone to distract myself. So far, no good.
Since the voice won't end, I'm trying to change what it is saying. I'm lucky that in this move I'm moving back to the city that my family is in, and that they are very supportive. I know that even if I don't get this job my family is going to make sure that I am okay. If this opportunity does end up being a "failure", it's not going to be the total life failure that my mind is trying to make it out to be.
As I write this I'm trying to give myself this speech, but it is okay to fail. Failure isn't the horrid thing that people try to make it out to be. It is what teaches you to pick yourself up and keep on going. That sounds incredibly cheesy, and I am currently rolling my eyes, but it's true. Failure is an option, and it's okay. And maybe after I tell myself a few more times that it's going to be okay, I'll start to believe it.